.. Raw footage from earlier 🤸🏼♀️
I don’t always look pretty doing it, and some days I feel like my progress is as slow as a turtle 😂
but I’m getting there ❤️
I originally bought this because it was supposed to help with back problems and it looked super fun!
#TikTok made me do it 😁
Check out the video here:
I’m still not to sure about it helping with back problems yet, considering I’m using muscles I haven’t used since high school 😂👵🏼
but what I can say is that it has helped with my anxiety so much.
While this past year has been the best year of my life, and I’ve grown so much as a person on the inside.. it’s been tough to say the least. I had a lot of nights (and days) that we’re filled with darkness.
Grief thicker than I had ever experienced before.
Pain I wasn’t sure I could bare for much longer.
It has been one of the worst emotional storms I had ever been forced to go through.
I know it’s positive changes that are happening in and around me…
but dang it sucks going through those storms to get to the rainbow.. and going out and spinning helps me take my mind off of the 100 other things.
I’ve done a lot of shadow work these past few months.
If you don’t know what that is, just search the #shadowwork on TikTok and there’s so many great videos explaining it better than I ever could.
“As I go deeper into myself on this journey, I will learn to love all the parts of my true self I have hidden for so long and I will heal them.”
I am a lot, I know that.
I’ve accepted that not everyone is going to like me, and that’s ok.
sometimes it still hurts my feelings, but that’s ok too
I’ve realized that some people are probably going to talk about me weather I’m doing good or bad. Some of it true, Alot of it not. That’s ok too.
I get it, the energy that I bring to the table scares the crap out of people. 😂
I’m hyper, I talk super fast, Im awkward, I over-explain, I’m a people pleaser, I hate conflict, Im an empath, and I try to give the love that I’ve always wanted.
I was always taught to treat others how you want to be treated. soooo yea 🤪😎🤟🏼
I know the love I bring to the table. Weather it be romantic relationships or friendships.
I've tried giving less love, or not opening my heart as much to people (I’m sorry for those I’ve pushed away just because of fear of opening my heart and figuring out exactly how to maneuver through life), but that just made me more unhappy because I wasn’t being my true authentic self.
I am also sorry to all of those I pushed away in fear of bringing your positive spirit down with me.
I’ve talked with a few friends about this, but in the past when going through storms I’ve always self isolated for a few days and my normal self was back.
I’ve done it for 32 years, it’s always worked.
Except this time it didn’t.. for a while I threw myself into work and hyper focused on that, but that didn’t work because I just burnt myself out to the point I was questioning if this is where I needed to be in life..
so I pulled back and isolated again and this time days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and before I realized it, I had literally isolated myself so much it spun me even further down and I didn’t know how to get out.
I was just going through the motions of life, doing the bare minimum bc honestly even that was exhausting, when I was out all I really wanted to do was go back home and be alone.
Then one night insomnia had set in and I was scrolling through TiKTok and saw the above video. It honestly looked so freeing and everything I was NEEDING! I went straight to Amazon and made that 3am impulse sleep deprived purchase 😂 and its amazing! Way harder than it looks but I can also feel myself being able to do new.moves or stretch a little further 🤗
it has turned into a daily routine that includes also journaling, working on my shadow work, and jamming out to some music. My meditation and the days I do it … omg the difference is crazy!
Over this past month I can feel my old self coming back more and more each day.
Through this process
I’ve learned so much self love. 👸🏼
I’ve learned who I am.
My triggers
My strengths
My weaknesses
what I need out of life to be the best version of myself
the best mom, the best business owner
and bring that positive energy to each of you.
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
I'm currently a recovering people pleaser 😁
I currently have HEALTHY boundaries
I currently have standards for who I allow into my world
I won’t allow irrelevant things to effect my world
I will bring my sunshine energy to everyone I encounter like I have always tried to do.
but
I will only allow people into my life that give just as much sunshine as they take.
A healthy balance of give and take
I will not allow my energy to only be taken and never refilled
I am strong enough to stand up for myself and walk away from anything that no longer benefits my world
all of these still a work in progress, but stronger everyday 🤗
andddd I know that all of this is a lot and I probably bounce a few times off topic. This has been sitting on my drafts for a good week just because I didnt even know about posting it or not.. honestly I figure the only ones who will read the blog are the people that actually know me and love all parts of my quirky self. ❤️❤️❤️
so if you’ve wondered where ive been or if I fell of the side of a cliff, I have In fact not.
I’ve just been working on my self and my world and spinning my way through the past couple of months ❤️
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